An Open Letter to my Parents

Dear Mom & Dad,

I started to write a blog post about the wedding, intending to give advice about what I learned from the experience and what I would do differently if I could go back and do it all over again, and I started over-analyzing everything I was writing. I couldn’t figure out which direction I wanted to go with it or what my message was. So I took a step back and really thought about it, and I realized that the message I wanted to write was to you.

So here I am, writing this letter. Don’t worry, mom, I’ll still send your thank you note in the mail. I’m trying not to overthink anything and just write what comes to me, but it’s so much harder than it sounds because I am such a perfectionist when it comes to my parents. I want to be absolutely perfect for you guys, all the time. And it is so hard for me to express how I feel, because I feel like no matter how many times I say it or how many different ways I express it, I won’t ever be able to fully express to you how much I love you.

If there’s anything I learned this year, it’s that Kevin and I are going to have to try so damn hard to even come close to being as good of parents as you. Seriously, I know everyone probably says this about their parents, but you guys are hands-down the most amazing parents in the entire universe. You are supportive, honest, transparent, loving, kind, funny…I could go on and on about you guys. You will always have my back. Not that I had any doubts before, but I could never doubt that after this year.
I know I asked a lot of you this year and I want you to know how appreciative I am. I feel like I will never be able to repay you for everything you’ve done for me this year, and that’s just this year! Don’t even get me started on the rest of my life! There are not many parents who are able to be both 100% honest with and 100% supportive of their children, at least not that I’ve seen.

You were worried about my relationship with Kevin. You were worried that it was moving far too fast, that we were taking these great leaps and bounds and skipping steps without really thinking about what we were getting into. You were worried we were rushing into it too fast and that we’d end up realizing it was a mistake when we were already in too deep. And you expressed those concerns to both of us, multiple times. And I want you to know that we both really took those concerns to heart. It is truly amazing to be so loved by your family that they will be completely honest with you, even when they know it’s something you probably don’t want to hear.

It felt like the first time I had pushed onward with something that felt explicitly against your wishes, so to speak, even though there have probably been times in the past where I’ve gone ahead with something against your advice. But you also taught me to follow my heart and always think for myself, so I forged on.
What really amazes me to this day is that despite the advice you gave Kevin and I, when we told you that we were still set on getting married this year, you supported us fully in that decision. And really, supported isn’t even the right word, doesn’t even do it justice. There’s no word that describes taking over an entire wedding planning process and painting your house in preparation for the big day. Seriously, you guys painted the house. And painted the grass (it’s true). Our bar was set pretty low; you could have just attended the wedding and we would have been happy, but you went ABOVE and BEYOND, as per usual.

And yes, you were right. It probably would have been a lot easier and a lot less stressful to wait until 2018 to get married, but we had our hearts set on it and it was an absolutely beautiful wedding. Perfect in every way. It exceeded my expectations. And you’re right, I loved the centerpieces on the tables despite saying that they were “unnecessary”. It was the most perfect day, the most perfect wedding, and we could not have done it without you. We appreciate your unconditional love and support so much more than you will ever know, and we hope that you’ll continue to give us all of the blunt, honest, sage advice you’ve got as we start our life together and begin this crazy journey called marriage.

I love you both so freaking much!

Love,
Your Daughter

Published by Sami Hertel

Oregon native, current Utah resident, blogging about my adventures on lifeafteroregon.com!

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