A Kemper Family Thanksgiving

I know you all anxiously wait for us to go on vacation so we can regale you with our lively stories. So, without further ado, I give you our Kemper Family Thanksgiving Extravaganza!

Thanksgiving Special: A Kemper Family Thanksgiving (Aired 11/16/2018-11/25/2018)

Aired only in real-time. You had to be there.

Episode 1: The Long Road to Gresham

Kevin & Samantha drive 12 hours to the Kemper Cottage, arriving in record time only to find that no one is home and they have to use the hide-a-key. Kevin & Nick decide to start watching Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers at 8:30pm (the extended version).

Episode 2: Are We There Yet?

In which Kevin & Samantha drive to three different grocery stores the Saturday before Thanksgiving, and everyone makes it to the beach house with just enough time to panic and rush to take family photos on the beach before the sun sets. A heated game of Monopoly pits Kiki & Nick against the rest of the family. Samantha triumphs as the winner.

Episode 3: More Photos?!

The family rallies for not one, but two more photo shoots. There’s just enough time left in the day to celebrate Kevin & Kiki’s birthdays with Costco chocolate cake and head to the mall 30 minutes before it closes. In a tragic stroke of bad luck, Nick locks the keys in the car. A tense car swap ensues, and Samantha, Kevin, Kiki & Alex head to dinner while the other three head home. The owner of the restaurant calls Kevin “Papa Bear” and he fears he’ll never be able to shake that nickname.

Episode 4: Kevin Turns 30

Alex & Kiki leave at the crack of dawn for class. Barb & Christopher return and retrieve the keys (and leftover pizza) from the trunk of the car. Barb, Christopher, Samantha & Kevin go to Mo’s for Kevin’s birthday dinner. The food is mediocre, but the Long Island iced teas are top notch.

Episode 5: Barb Has A Perfect Day

Kevin heads out for the day to visit family. Alex & Kiki return from Corvallis. Samantha sleeps in and goes to the mall with Barb for a few hours. Barb seizes the day early and goes for several walks on the beach, finishes three books, and learns how to walk on her hands. Kevin returns and demands that everyone walk on the beach at low tide. They end the day with a delicious pre-Thanksgiving ham dinner and a game of “What?”.

Episode 6: The Chinese Food Fiasco

Alex & Kiki drive to Corvallis & back before noon. The stormy weather hits. Alex & Kevin head to the mall only to find that it’s closed, so they head to J’s Fish & Chips for lunch only to find that it’s also closed. Barb, Christopher, Alex & Kiki head home for Friendsgiving & Thanksgiving Breakfast festivities. Samantha & Kevin embark on a hunt for Chinese food, only to discover that all the Chinese restaurants in Lincoln City are closed!

Episode 7: A Thanksgiving Christopher Won’t Remember

The family returns (with Nick this time) and are welcomed back with a Thanksgiving Charcuterie Appetizer. The family eats charcuterie and plays Uno, then retreats upstairs to watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail while Barb finishes cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Dinner is divine (prime rib, homemade mac n cheese, green beans, rolls, oyster stuffing) and Christopher sleeps right through it! They finish the night with a game of “What?” that takes a strangely inappropriate turn and will be remembered for decades to come.

Episode 8: Goodbye, Vacation Budget

Black Friday gets the best of Samantha, as she is drawn in by the 50% off Pendleton blankets sale (and drags Barb down with her). It’s a Pendleton blanket Christmas! J’s Fish & Chips is finally open and worth the 45 minute wait. Samantha & Barb get Dutch Bros. while Kevin waits for lunch to be ready. Alex & Kiki head back to Corvallis to watch the Civil War game. Samantha, Barb & Kevin get a solid hour of hot-tubbing in on the final night at the beach house.

Episode 9: How Did We Pack So Much Stuff?!

The gang wakes up early-ish to eat breakfast and pack up with time to spare for one last walk on the beach. They rendezvous at the Kemper Cottage to say their goodbyes, and Samantha and Kevin head to Boise. Thankfully, Boise has a Chinese restaurant that is open so Kevin can get his Chinese food fix.

Episode 10: Homeward Bound

Kevin & Samantha finish their road trip back home to Utah. They arrive home at 3:00pm but do absolutely nothing productive for the rest of the day (except finish watching Gilmore Girls!). Barb realizes that Samantha intentionally left a bag of Halloween candy, licorice and Ikea cookies hidden behind the couch at the Kemper Cottage. The family marks their calendars: less than a month until the Kemper Family Christmas begins!

Published by Sami Hertel

Oregon native, current Utah resident, blogging about my adventures on lifeafteroregon.com!

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