Happy Four Year Anniversary to Us!

In true Samantha Style, I realized I only wrote a blog post for our first anniversary. I’m not sure what my excuse was on our second anniversary, but last year my excuse was definitely the pregnancy + pandemic combo (totally valid). As cool as it would be to have a blog post for every single anniversary, I can’t go back now and re-write them so here we are!

Happy anniversary to us, we’ve made it through four years of marriage! Next year is the big 5! Every five years seems like a big milestone to me, and we’re almost to that first milestone, but we can’t let this one pass us by because what an unbelievably amazing and also kind of super shitty year we just went through!

To just quickly recap the highlights from our third year of marriage:

  • Bye bye birth control, hello getting pregnant right away! (what a tremendous blessing, we expected it to take anywhere from 6 months to a year to get pregnant, so the “plans” I had — ha ha! — were totally thrown out the window)
  • A fun trip to Europe! London, Paris, Dublin!
  • Welcome home — there’s a pandemic, we’re shutting everything down, and you just got home from a trip so you have no toilet paper or groceries!
  • Have fun being pregnant during a pandemic!
  • My brother Alex moved in with us! ❤
  • We bought a house!

So right around the time I was supposed to be writing my 3 year anniversary blog post, I was pregnant and miserable and terrified to go out into society and was not in a good blogging place. Mainly because I felt so shitty for being miserable while pregnant when so many people try so hard to conceive!

But we were about to have the most eventful year of marriage yet! Starting with the birth of our baby girl!

What a journey it is to become a parent! And Kevin was thrown into parenthood a few days before his birthday! Birthdays are a big deal for him. He loves to be the center of attention and get lots of gifts and he wants everything to be surprise. The big surprise was that we had to kick Sophie out of my belly because she did not want to vacate the premises, otherwise she would have been born a few weeks before his birthday instead of a few days. He adapted quite well to spending his birthday figuring out how to entertain a newborn.

Oh and in the midst of all of this, we’re trying to start some home renovations. Which we should have started before Sophie was born but we foolishly wanted to be lazy and do nothing productive for like a full month before the baby arrived. Kevin finished the shed (aka home gym) and bought a lot of materials for the basement but didn’t really get started until Sophie was a few months old.

Also in the midst of all this (“all this” meaning “becoming parents, keeping a tiny human alive”), we have both been in school. Kevin finishing his Bachelor’s degree and me starting my MBA program. So that’s been mostly an annoyance for the both of us as it’s probably fourth or fifth on our priority list, but we’re happy to be getting it done and mostly doing it for the career advancement opportunities.

This post is now reminding me of my mom’s Christmas letters, essentially a recap of the year, which is a plus because after posting this I will only have to do a recap of like the last two months of 2021 for my Christmas letter/year in review post!

Naturally our lives now revolve around Sophie and we have to find time for each other in our busy schedules. It’s not that we don’t spend time together, just that it looks different than it used to and of course there have been some changes to our relationship since Sophie was born. But for the most part, those have been positive changes. I think the absolute exhaustion of the newborn days really puts a lot of silly fights into perspective and it’s so much easier to just move on when you are too tired to fight or too tired to care.

It has been a learning curve figuring out how to communicate our needs effectively to one another, particularly now that Sophie’s needs come first. And there are times when we definitely have a shorter fuse with one another than we used to, but it takes so much time and energy to be a parent and if I did not have someone by my side who supported me fully in my parenting decisions, I don’t know how I would do that. We are doing a lot of things that I think may be considered atypical. Sophie co-sleeps with us, and it really works for us and we both prefer it, and I just could not imagine having a husband who said, “No, the baby can’t sleep in our bed, go figure out how to get her to sleep in her crib.”

Most things haven’t changed. We still argue and fight about such petty things like Kevin carrying 7 cans of soda and dropping two of them on the floor and waking the baby up. Or sneezing and waking the baby up. Many things involving waking the baby up currently. And I think we’re just the kind of people who will always have these fights where I yell at Kevin for eating all the popcorn or Kevin yells at me because I say I don’t know where I want to eat but I don’t want to eat at any of the places he suggests. But usually these fights are so funny in retrospect and we laugh about them, and we have started laughing mid-fight because if we yell or raise our voices Sophie thinks it’s super funny.

We just don’t have a whole lot of real shit to fight about. We worked through a ton of stuff in the beginning of our relationship and I’m glad we put in that time because when things come up that we need to deal with, it’s rare that one or both of us needs years of therapy to work through it. It’s been such a learning curve becoming parents, but it already feels ten times easier than it did in the newborn days.

I know it’s been especially hard for Kevin to kind of get bumped to second place when Sophie was born. He tells me Sophie and I are tied for his #1 spot, but he knows Sophie is my #1 and he’s my #2 and I don’t try and deny it! But I would not want to create a family with anyone else. It has been a crazy year, and things are still crazy and totally not normal in the world, but I am so in love with our little family and I am so grateful that seven-ish years ago I got drunk and told Kevin I loved him (we weren’t even in a relationship), and four years ago we got married in my parents’ backyard!

This blog post is mainly “for” Kevin because I know he is a bit jealous that Sophie gets monthly Instagram posts. You’re the best, babe! There’s no one else I’d rather carry 20 pieces of sheet rock down the stairs with!

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